The Magpie on the Gallows

The Casey Anthony Case

2011-07-17T23:10:00.001-07:00

I agree with the verdict.

Put those rotten vegetables down for a second and hear me out on this.

Do I like her character? No. Do I like what happened to her daughter? Absolutely not. Do I wish that "mothers" like her should be sentenced to having their ovaries removed with a spoon? Definitely.

But I also believe that no one should be convicted on such charges without solid concrete evidence, especially in felony cases and even more especially in capital cases.

I didn't watch the trial. I knew enough people who were to be reasonably sure that I was getting fairly accurate Cliff Notes. I was out for lunch this afternoon when the verdict came in and watched as the wave of outrage swept through the pub. I didn't know all the counts that the jury was sent to deliberate on, so I asked if Reckless Endangerment was among them. No one could tell me. Everyone was outraged that she didn't get Murder One and sent to Death Row.

I do believe in capital punishment, but I also believe that anyone sitting in cell awaiting execution should have been proven beyond all doubt that they belong there. Casey Anthony doesn't make that grade. Circumstantial evidence, even in a massive amount, does not equate to concrete proof. They could prove that she lied. They could not prove that she either intentionally or unintentionally killed her daughter.

Yes, she might party hard, do drugs, drink like a fish, act like a bimbo, and whatever else... and I'm glad that she couldn't be convicted for that. I'm glad because it means that the jury was taking the law seriously and not condemning someone based on circumstances and personal character. Hell, I personally don't know that many people who would be able to stand up against the Court of Public Opinion on their character if that was the determining factor in such cases.

Do I think she had some responsibility in her daughter's death? I do. Call it a gut feeling. But gut feeling isn't concrete evidence either.

Okay, now feel free to pelt me with rotten vegetables.

Photos of Dead Terrorists

2011-05-04T21:19:00.000-07:00

I just heard the news about Obama deciding not to release any of the post-mortem photos of Osama bin Laden after it was announced yesterday that at least one would be released. I could go on forever about the indecisiveness but I would rather spend the this time talking about history, suspicious natures, and who "we" are.

I personally would like very much to add Osama's deceased mug in that special folder of mine that I use for injury reference materials. But I understand that there are many people who have far greater reasons than I for wanting to see those photos, and I'd like to address that.

If you ask a roomful of honest people to raise their hand if they really trust absolutely everything that comes out of the White House, you probably won't see many hands raised. I've heard people whisper about not trusting the government all of my life but it's only been in the last ten years that I've seen people become extremely vocal about it. Of course, there are plenty of real nutcases out there to fan the flames, but there are plenty of clear-thinking Americans who have their eyebrows raised as well. This is something I take into consideration... why in the world would a government not want to release proof-positive on such a sensitive matter to a population that isn't exactly inclined to just take them at their word?

I really don't want to hear stories about how Osama and Obama have brunch together every Sunday in some secret bunker and laugh about how those stupid Americans "bought it".

We don't hear such stories about Saddam Hussein or Timothy McVeigh because there was hard evidence given to the people that those two enemies of the country were killed.

It's really not a blood-lust thing. It's actually an argument that has its roots in history. Want to know why famous heads were displayed at places like London Bridge? It wasn't someone's twisted sense of decorating. It was for identification purposes in the days before photography. The common folks could look up and see Thomas More's head on a pole, go back and tell their friends and families what they saw, and no one doubted that Mr. More was no longer among the living.

Many years ago when Daniel Pearl was murdered by terrorists and a video of his beheading was floating around on the internet, I had no less than six people ask me if I had seen it. They weren't asking it as they would inquire about a horror movie... they didn't want to see it for themselves but they wanted to know about it from someone they trusted. So I watched the video and let them know...yes, I saw it, and yes it actually happened.

I have never watched "Two Girls, One Cup" because I don't care to see that sort of thing... but I know what happened because of how many people I know who did watch it and told me all about it.

Which brings me to that whole "sensitive American" argument...

You are going to tell me that in a country where the two hottest-selling genres in entertainment are porn and horror, "most" Americans can't stomach a graphic war photo?

Well, we generally do have the common sense to keep potentially upsetting visuals in places where the people who want to see them can see them and those that don't can keep away from them. We don't see "Hostel" or "Bimbo Bangers" mixed in with the Saturday morning cartoons or afternoon soap operas.

If I want to find a particularly nasty photograph, I know exactly which websites to go to to start looking for it. I see no reason why the news media can't do likewise. "If you want to see the post-mort photos, visit our website and click here."

If you knew me around the time of the McVeigh execution, you already know my line about the media in these matters: "We've decided that a lethal injection video is too disturbing for Americans, but here's some dead babies for your viewing pleasure."

As far as the idea that we aren't vengeful trophy-hunters as a country... do these people at the White House ever pay attention to anything that goes on outside of their own social circles????

I watch the television every time I hear that a famous criminal is about to be executed. I know that they aren't going to let me see the needle go in the arm... but that's not why I watch. I tune in for the horse-and-pony show outside the prison gates. Serial killer Ted Bundy's execution is a particular favorite of mine because of how creative people got while celebrating his date with the electric chair. And I think they had every right to celebrate... the monster who scared the Hell out of them and took some of their friends in such a brutal way deserved to die. If someone like that was responsible for the death of one of my loved ones, I'd be right out there shaking pom-poms and cheering on the death squad too.

Osama bin Laden's actions managed to touch damned near every American's life... including those who hadn't even been born at the time of the 9/11 attacks. With as many people I saw who came out to celebrate in the middle of the night as soon as the news of his death came out, I don't think "we the people" have changed our minds about celebrating the death of our public enemies.

But even while caught up with the excitement of the news that night, there were (and still are) plenty of people who wished to see proof-positive that the man is dead. And to people who aren't familiar with the laws and customs of Islam, a very quick burial at sea sounds very fishy... no pun intended.

But we might upset the Muslim world and invite retaliation!

Ummm... I think that ship sailed a long time ago. I seriously doubt that folks who want to bring this country down to its knees are sitting around waiting to see if we release photos of a dead icon as a deciding factor to proceed. As it is with most bull-headed fundamentalist of any religion, they'll find a reason to be inflamed and offended no matter what we do. Why do we insist of trying to placate people who want us all dead?

Back to the trophy hunter argument...

Americans don't brag? Seriously???? How many freakin' "Good Guy Badges" does our government parade around whenever something awful happens around the world? Captain Democracy flies in to right the wrongs and give help to those less fortunate, to give them a taste of freedom... but we don't brag about it. We don't do cartwheels in the street when our forces take down a top terrorist. We're just not like that.

Yeah, right.

As I'm writing this, my mother just came in and told me that one of the news networks is reporting that they might show us some photos of the dead couriers in bin Laden's compound. So much for the "sensitive American" argument. And nice try at trying to dodge the issue about releasing photos of the dead man himself. Surely we won't clamor for Chateaubriand if they offer us hamburger.

I'm turning off the news. Would someone please whistle for me when the folks at the White House stop chasing their tails and start paying attention to the nature of the people they are supposed to be governing?

Drugs and Welfare

2011-04-27T06:45:00.000-07:00

Florida House Passes Welfare Drug Testing Requirement

This news makes me very happy.

Honesty, I don't understand why anyone who isn't on both drugs and government assistance programs would oppose it. The idea is that welfare recipients pay for their drug tests and are reimbursed if they pass it. If you are on drugs, you don't take the test and you don't get welfare. Makes perfect sense to me.

Yes, I've known plenty of folks who sat around their dwellings and indulged in drugs while waiting for their government checks. It always irked me that most of them weren't even trying to get jobs. Some would even use the lion's share of their welfare checks to buy lots of drugs, sell some of it, and use the rest to ride out until the next welfare check day. I understand that banks don't exactly give loans for such start-up businesses, but I have a real problem with dealers financing their operation on taxpayer money. I have more respect for the bloke who collects aluminum cans to support his drinking habit.

I have no idea if this bill will actually make it into law, but I hope it does. I don't buy the "invasion of privacy" argument because it's no more than many employers ask of their job applicants. If there are folks who are on welfare because they can't pass an employment drug test, then maybe having that same test as a prerequisite for welfare might be a big wakeup call for them.

Besides, we all know that a lot of employers don't actually conduct drug tests. It's not a death sentence for these people.

Gold-Diggers and Their Kind

2011-04-21T10:48:00.000-07:00

Is there anything more pathetic than a person who feels they must latch onto someone else for all their earthly needs without making any effort to provide for themselves? I understand those who seek patrons while working toward their career goals, (be it in schooling, starting out on something, or otherwise) but I have zero respect for those who spend their lives lounging on velvet coattails.

I have even less respect for the ones that bite the generous hand that feeds them by taking what is not rightfully theirs. They can use whatever logic they like, but stealing from a benefactor is pretty damned low in my book.

Perhaps such people get a skewered sense of entitlement, believing that they truly deserve nice things and justifying their unsavory ways of obtaining them. I've known a woman who lived on the welfare system who had the audacity to say that everyone who actually works hard should pay more taxes. It was her belief that because she displayed the ability to produce offspring, the rest of us should pay her expenses while she sat around and did nothing (and that unfortunately included taking care of her whelp.) I would certainly hate to see what kind of a world we would live in if babies came with "get out of work free" cards attached to them.

I understand having a sense of self-importance. I don't understand having this attitude with absolutely nothing to back it up. I also understand that one's opinion of oneself is generally not universally accepted.

Some talk a good game. "I'm going to do _______(enter any noble pursuit here)_____ with my life, if only someone could help me finance it!" I've known plenty of those types. Inevitably, that "noble pursuit" turns into a trip to the mall. Yes, one must look good when dealing with other people in business, but one needn't have a closet full of designer clothing to do so. One should actually put the money given by kind-hearted folks who want to help in that "noble pursuit" toward an actual pursuit.

Others do what is basically a form of legal prostitution and they sometimes even openly brag about having a "Sugar Daddy" or "Sugar Mama". Why do anything with their lives when someone who has worked hard to obtain a good life will readily give them whatever they like? These people disgust me. I wonder how well that tactic is going to work out for them when their beauty fades. At least hookers are honest about their affection-for-cash operational procedures.

New Project

2011-03-27T05:45:00.000-07:00

Earlier this year I mentioned that I was about to embark on a long writing project. It's only fair that I follow that bit of news up with how what started as an epic screenplay destined for market has evolved into an epic graphic novel destined to be produced and released in numerous episodes over the next few years.

Along with artist Daniel Byrd (www.coffinrust.com), my husband Duckie and I are very proud and extremely excited to be working on what we hope will be an extraordinary illustrated story. I'm not at liberty to get into the details just yet... but I'll post them as soon as I'm able to.

On a side note, my first fictional novel, The Gallows Flower, is slated to become available very soon through Diabolic Publishing.

Rooting for the Bad Guys

2011-01-03T05:05:00.000-08:00

This month I begin a long and complicated writing project that has its foundation firmly in a life-long habit of mine... being more interested in the villain of a story than the hero.

Thinking back, I cannot pinpoint exactly when I decided that Dracula was more interesting than Harker or Van Helsing, or that Jack the Ripper had far more appeal than Sherlock Holmes, or that Erik the opera phantom really just needed to improve his aim with a chandelier. Villains have always just seemed to be more complex to me. Even now with a growing trend of bad-boy heroes and "darker" super-beings, I still find that the designated black hat is the one I'd like to have a dinner dates with.

It's not that I particularly agree with the motives, just that they generally have a much more interesting way of looking at situations. One of my favorite on-screen villains of all-time is John Kramer/"Jigsaw" from the Saw series, whose philosophy and pre-planning abilities are amazing although quite firmly rooted in solid logic. And how quick people are to label him as crazy! Yeah, he's crazy like a fox.

Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker was crazy, but by no means uninteresting. Although Jigsaw didn't particularly like the results of his games, I do appreciate seeing black hat characters who genuinely enjoy what they do (even if it is downright awful.) Rob Zombie's Firefly family in House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects being a wonderful example of this.

But even more interesting to me are the villains who truly believe that what they are doing is right, more so than those who just don't give a fig that their actions are wrong in the eyes of the law or humanity.

I look forward to tackling a very classic villain this year.

Observations in a Bistro

2010-11-13T01:37:00.000-08:00

My husband and I went to a local wine bar/bistro this week because we really needed an evening out and the idea of meeting new people local to us was appealing. Overall, we had a very nice time and met a couple of rather interesting blokes. However, we also had plenty of opportunity to observe the locals and understood that this charming little bistro turns into a "meat market" after 9pm.

Is it really necessary to update your Facebook/Twitter/whatever every thirty seconds while you are out with your friends? I kid you not, a woman at the table beside us went no longer than three minutes without typing a new update. I saw quite a folks Twittering away, and it made me wonder what was possibly so amazing that they couldn't just tell their friends about it later.

Mind you, I'm not a big fan of electronic babysitters. I sometimes remember to turn my cell phone on when I'm away from home, and I have never owned one that came equipped with a camera and Internet capabilities.

Of course, I could see how texting your friends while in a bar could be useful. I would have considered texting my husband, who was sitting across from me at the table, if only so he could understand what I was saying over the loud music. We were seated in the much quieter outdoor area. I can't imagine how the folks inside where the band was managed to communicate with one another.

I know I need to get more accustomed to crowds and social situations, but I still feel quite alien at the moment.

My assistants

2010-10-16T14:35:00.000-07:00

These are the three kittens who were abandoned at a gas station back in August and came running up to my car. After almost two months of looking for homes for them, they installed themselves as my "assistants" in my studio.

Meet Samhain, Joker, and Lecter.

Web comic I enjoy

2010-09-14T05:50:00.000-07:00

xkcd updates thrice a week.

Social Skills

2010-09-14T04:07:00.000-07:00

My father once said that taking an acting class for at least one semester should be required in school. I used to think he said that because he loved theatre, but as I entered the adult world I came to realise that it was sound advice.

In a world where every other person is tagged with some sort of social disability, I've found that being able to size up a situation amongst mixed company and act accordingly is pretty crucial for social survival. Many people know this already. However, there are a lot of bad actors out there who could not mimic interest or sincerity if their lives (or more likely, jobs) depended on it.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm often bored in mixed company. But even in situations where slitting my wrists seems almost preferable to another five minutes of people droning on about their favorite TV shows, their kids, their new clothes, their diet, etc..., I do know how to show physical signs of interest for their benefit. I also know how to smile with all appearances of sincerity even if someone has made me so angry that I'd really enjoy tossing them off a balcony.

I wish that more people used these skills. It's not that I condone outright deception, but rather behaving in a civil manner in public. Perhaps I've just seen too many employees scowling at their bosses at work and too many couples scrapping like hyenas in parking lots.

Anti-Islam Propoganda

2010-09-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

First of all, I feel obligated to mention that I don't particularly care for any religion that attempts to convert or force people to join, be it Christianity or Islam or anything in between. I think religion should be a personal choice and not something to base laws on.

With September 11th upon us, I've been seeing an awful lot of anti-Islam propaganda floating around both the Internet and the media. A good chunk of it uses the persecution of women, adulterers, and homosexuals as its platform for why Americans should resist the pending invasion of Islamic law in this country. While I wholly agree that Shari'a law would completely suck, I think these warning campaigns are missing a far bigger audience here in the States.

Christianity is the prominent religion here, and so the mistreatment of women, frowning on adultery, and condemnation f homosexuality really isn't anything we haven't heard before. In fact, it still goes on here and can certainly be related to my a go number of people.

However, I think that stressing that Allah forbids alcohol would spark much more of a protest. As a country, we already had that embarrassing little footnote in our short history between 1920-1933 called Prohibition. It seems to me that reminding Americans that under Islamic laws that beer, whiskey, and wine would be outlawed would ruffle more feathers than the horrible punishments that await homos and cheaters.

Kitten Madness

2010-09-08T00:26:00.000-07:00

Front: Samhain Center: Lecter Back: Unnamed as of now.

I still don't understand how anyone could have dumped off three adorable kittens at a gas station parking lot, but that's how I ended up with a litter of furry little assistants in my garage studio.

I've been trying to find homes for them. I put ads up online and signs around town, but asides from someone who claimed to want two of them and was never heard from again, I've had no luck.

So I started assigning names to them. "Samhain" is definitely a Halloween-colored cat, and "Lecter" has a habit of nibbling on toes and fingers. We still haven't decided on a name for the smaller calico yet.

To be fair, they are incredibly well-behaved and I don't mind having them in the studio. They are very good about pouncing on any insects that wander in, and they don't mess with anything that they aren't supposed to. If I'm going to be stuck with three rescued kittens, I couldn't have asked for a better-behaved group.

Lecter seems to be a bit under the weather, so we're taking him to the vet tomorrow. He also just hit puberty, so it's time to schedule that very special visit for him too. But the two girls are thriving, although I do want to get them spayed within the next month or so as well.

Further evidence that my gremlins do in fact exist.

2010-09-06T13:44:00.000-07:00

I don't like driving. Although I've never been behind the wheel when in an accident, I've been told that I'm not a good driver to begin with. I don't like being crowded, so I'll linger back to avoid being boxed in by other cars at 70mph on the highway. I don't trust that other drivers are really paying attention to what they are doing when I can see them yakking on their cell phones. I hate driving in the rain, which is a fairly common event here in Florida.

For almost seven years I have shared a vehicle with Garith and more or less just stayed home while he takes it to work, shopping, whatever... If I absolutely needed a vehicle whenever our schedules clashed, I would either borrow or rent one.

Last year one of my best friends started nagging me about how I needed my own vehicle. He was right, I was holding my career back by limiting my mobility. It took many, many months to get me to come around to the idea, but eventually I did.

So I embarked on the Hell that is car-hunting, knowing what my needs were and comparing that to what the car lots had to offer. Not fun. I didn't think my requirements were such a big deal... Asian make, automatic transmission, less than ten years old, under 10K, and enough cargo space to hold my gear.

After several weeks of scanning ads online and another two days physically pounding the pavement at every used dealership in a three-town area, I finally found an Isuzu SUV that met all my needs.

I'll admit, the first couple days were fun while zipping around town and doing errands that I would normally have to put off until someone in the house had a day off. I even bought a GPS because Google Maps is notorious for sending me on wild goose chases when going to new destinations.

I even splurged a little and bought some car toys and a custom bumper sticker that gave drivers (and police) a clue as to my occupation because I do in fact travel with weapons and rolls of plastic sheeting when I'm on a job.

And then, less than two weeks after purchasing my vehicle, my husband's truck breaks down.

Tell me gremlins don't exist!

Kittens and Killing People

2010-09-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

It's been crazy over the past couple months.

Psycho Chicks Anonymous is out of post and has been submitted to festivals. This past week "Intervention", a short horror film we did in July, became available for viewing online. I've been up to my eyeballs in making body parts for a film I've agreed to do this winter. I still have two of the three feral kittens, and a week ago I rescued three more very domesticated kittens who were just dumped off at a gas station on a rainy night.

Oh, and I also turned 38.

I'm not sure exactly when women go through mid-life crisis, but I'll admit that I have been feeling anxious lately. However, it has little to do with my years and more to do with planning the years ahead of me. I love the direction my life is going, but there is always that little nagging thought of someday biting off more than I can chew and choking on it. Then again, I'm not the type who is quick to shy away from a challenge.

Sad Day

2010-06-28T20:06:00.000-07:00

Our 200+ lb English Mastiff named Gaius died this morning. We think it was cancer, but he went down very suddenly this past weekend and finally succumbed before his vet appointment today.

Class, or Lack Thereof...

2010-06-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

I've been engaged in a bit of a social experiment over the past couple of months, and so far I've been wholly confused by some folks and the seemingly general ideas as to what constitutes "class".

Mind you, I am familiar with Paul Fussel's book "Class", which outlines some of the common caste markers found in Western society. I'm also of the thought school that one's social class doesn't necessarily rely on the size of one's bank account.

I've also discovered on this journey that I am indeed a bit of a snob. However, I'm perfectly okay with such a label as it applies to my preference in jewelry, clothing, dining, and whatnot.

I don't care for legible clothing because I don't feel comfortable literally spelling out things about my personality so people will assume things about me on sight, nor do I care to be a walking billboard if I can possibly help it. (I've disregarded perfectly good handbags and jeans because the manufacturer's logos were prominently and permanently displayed on them.)

Nor do I favor sequined, beaded, or glittered clothing that seems to be all the rage at present. I gave my reason to my husband the other day, which he thought made perfect sense. I think that wearing rhinestone-studded clothing cheapens the very real stone jewelry that I wear. Maybe I don't look as "glamorous" in my plain top and pants, but eyes are drawn to the tanzanite and amethyst earrings and necklace I was wearing that day. I feel it is hard to appreciate a genuine article when it is surrounded by showy impostors.

That brings me to glamor... or what seems to pass for it nowadays. I'm not sure I understand the reason for all the circus vomit (bold sparklies and sequins) found all over apparel nowadays. I do remember a few years ago I was laughing about a shirt I saw that had "RICH BITCH" spelled out in large rhinestones...as if that was an attempt to fool anyone. (Truth be told, I would have considered it to be vulgar and proletarian even if the words were spelled out in flawless two-karat diamonds.)

Is that it? Is it the illusion of being spattered with gems that makes this style so appealing? I don't quite understand the message the wearer wants to send. Or is it meant to be playful, in a "just making damned sure that you notice me" kind of way?

Don't get me wrong... I used to love wearing lots of rhinestones, glitter, and sequins. Of course, I was a teenager and heavily involved in musical theatre at the time.

I understand having a little glitter in makeup to make your eyes "pop". I just wonder about some of the gals I've been seeing lately who look at though their eyes might just pop right out of their sockets with irritation due to the heavily-glittered lids and lashes.

I regularly complain up one way and down the other about the over-abundance of lab-created gemstones in jewelry stores lately. I just have a hard time acknowledging a too-perfect fake emerald as being "fine jewelry", even if it is set in 10k white gold. It's like pouring Mad Dog 20/20 into Baccarat stemware.

I went into Jared Jewelers the other day, looking for a present for my husband. (I know better than to pick something out myself, so I brought him with me.) While he was exploring the selection of bracelets for men, the salesman asked me what I would be interested in for myself. I told him tanzanite was my favorite, and he explained that they didn't really have much (any) tanzanite, but perhaps he could interest me in some nice Alexandrite that change color... and are 100% lab-grown.

Mind you, my husband and I were both dressed very (very!) casual and neither of us looked or smelled like we had anything in our wallets. We looked like the type who would go ga-ga over either oversized gemstones or novelty gem-encrusted items. But within minutes the salesman's attitude toward us shifted from one of plastic courtesy to one of genuine appreciation as we were able to identify materials without cue cards and explain our tastes. Unfortunately, there was nothing in the store that would suit me, but my husband was more fortunate.

That's when I really started to realise that I was not only a jewelry snob, but one with pretty damn refined taste that few people could honestly appreciate. I also observed that higher class isn't about how many glitteries you're wearing, but how you wear them. Tinsel, not frosting. A trained eye can spot small genuine sapphire stud earrings at twenty paces and appreciate them more than foot-long lab-grown dangles.

I'm not saying that I am high class by any stretch of the imagination. I'm more outside the classes (or X-category, if you will), but my taste does seem to lean toward the upper end of the social class scale. I just don't expect to be kissing the air next to a Vanderbilt in my lifetime.

However, I do realise that many people are class-concerned, and often have skewered ideas of how their betters live and try to mimic that. I've been to plenty of five-star restaurants watching people dressed in their Sunday Best try to navigate the flatwear and keep their elbows off the table. I've also seen people who are indeed closer to the top of the social food chain walk into those same restaurants looking like slobs, which upsets my sense of aesthetics but is still considered perfectly acceptable for their station. (That's also why walking into fine jewelry stores in well-worn street clothes isn't a tell-tale sign for the salespeople to immediately point us toward the bargain bins, as I've often seen them do with BeDazzeled shoppers.)

I also think that people who put a great deal of stock into class and social standing are probably quite stressed. I have friends who have adopted very black-and-white methods of judging people based on certain class markers that I have certainly delighted in proving faulty. (My personal favorite being the idea that someone who doesn't have a college degree can't possibly be very intelligent.)

I do believe in stratification, and if people just relaxed and took the time to just be themselves and play the roles they are best suited for than we wouldn't have so much anxiety, depression, and whatever other social ailments that pharmaceutical companies keep inventing pills for. Instead, I see many people knocking themselves out trying to convince the people around them that they are "better", based on a commercially-perceived scale of what constitutes "higher class". I'm sorry, but a designer cubic zirconia ring costing $150 is aesthetically no better than a generic $15 rhinestone ring found at Wal-Mart. Either way, it's not a real diamond.

Fun at the Mall

2010-05-27T10:13:00.000-07:00

Attention everyone: The Roman Empire does in fact pre-date Lady Gaga. I just want to make sure everyone is clear on that, because I had a lovely time arguing with a saleslady about how new the "new and innovative" accessories for hair really were.

Maybe you've seen them. They are synthetic hair braid headbands that when worn give the appearance of an elaborate hairstyle. I first saw them in a painting depicting a woman in ancient Rome. The saleslady first saw them three weeks ago when they arrived in a box. So when told that these were a brand new concept and the cutting edge of new fashion, I just couldn't help but point that out.

Big mistake.

So ten minutes later and the saleslady is still adamant about how the new look is quite unique and ground-breaking, and I'm really becoming annoyed by the ignorance. The only upside to the experience is that I managed to find the only hair ornament in the shop that didn't look like a clown threw up on it. (I did elect not to get into the history of people wearing flowers in their hair, though to be sure, the plastic neon sparkles are certainly "new".)

Right across the walkway was a kiosk hawking their new and revolutionary products that use coarse salt for skin care.

It almost makes me think that I could make a million dollars by peddling dried crocodile dung as a new form of birth control. I just need to come up with a catchy product name...

Has Dressing Up Gone Out Of Style?

2010-05-20T20:37:00.000-07:00

For the most part, I had a lovely evening at one of the best steak and wine houses in the country this week. Berns, in Tampa Florida, boasts the largest wine cellar in the country and takes great pride in the way their food is raised/grown/prepared. It's the kind of place that you don't step a foot into without expecting to spend a minimum of $100 per person. To people on blue collar wages, it's a "really fancy restaurant". (As it was explained to me by quite a few people when the subject was brought up in conversation.)

So, I'm out with three of my favorite people in the world to plan a nice evening of good food, wine, company, and aesthetics. For a change, I actually agonize over what to wear to dinner and forsake my beloved tee-shirts and cargos. I even put on makeup and go without my eyeglasses that everyone seems to hate. I understand that I'm going to a place where dressing to the nines is perfectly acceptable, and it's a rare and glorious thing...

Or is it?

Duckie and I have seen this before at our favorite upscale steak house in Orlando. We're enjoying the services of a very professional and well-trained waitstaff, painstakingly prepared dishes that use only the finest ingredients, elegant decor and nicely polished silverware, dining to soft and pleasing music... and the bloke sitting at the table next to us is wearing a baseball cap and cut-offs next to his wife in what appears to be a beach wrap.

Granted, our dinner at Berns didn't have quite so bad as a horror show, but the idea was the same. As I stepped outside to have a cigarette, I noticed that many of the women entering the building looked like they just came from working at a whorehouse. When I returned to the table, the guys informed me that they figured out that the dress code just meant no sandals for men.

Does no one dress for dinner anymore?

A few years back Duckie, Garith, and I attended a week-long party in Las Vegas where on the first night everyone gathered at the lobby bar at Caesar's Palace for a meet-n-greet. I remember being so pleased to see so many people dressed in their semi-formal to formal best and behaving accordingly, and I was certainly proud to be among them. I also remember many occasions where some burmuda-clad creature would approach someone in our group under the assumption that they were part of the hotel staff on account of their attire.

Later that week the guys and I went to a five-star restaurant and encountered similarly-dressed patrons.

We seem to be losing something in our society where dressing for comfort has become the priority above all else. I made the mistake of looking through prom fashions this year and didn't see much of a difference between that selection and the inventory of the shop where the local strippers buy their skimpy mini-dresses.

I know that I am usually among the last to take pride in my appearance, and vanity is a sin that I've never fully indulged in as an adult. However, I do feel that there are some times and places where dressing up and making a formal presentation should be expected. Call me a snob, but it's hard for me to enjoy my elegant surroundings when I'm half-expecting the people at the next table to ask for beer cozies and put their flip-flopped feet up on the table.

Okay, What's That Critter Up There???

2010-04-29T23:32:00.000-07:00

I figured that my first "real" post here would answer a question I'm frequently asked about that strange little critter that appears on my website, blogs, etc...

I don't have a proper name for it, although it's been with me for many years as my pet icon. I found it one day while looking at old-time illustrations of goblins and their kin and it just really caught my attention.

Truth be told, it reminds me a bit about my cat Princess and any one of my beloved ferrets. Given my all-in-good-fun belief that gremlins are responsible for many of my mishaps, I found it to be an appropriate mascot.

So there you have it. That critter is a goblin-gremlin-cat-ferret creature that I just thought was adorable.

6/2/10 update: I "officially" adopted this critter as a personal mascot by putting it on my professional business cards.

Kicking off a new blog

2010-04-29T23:22:00.000-07:00

I just revamped my website with a new domain and fresh new look... and gearing it more toward my profession than as a parking spot for my writing and ranting. However, since I'm not one to sit in silence and my muse enjoys wielding the proverbial pen, I decided to rekindle this old blog space.

New website: www.ShivaRodriguez.com